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When There’s Nothing Left – Choosing Trust
Looking at the ultrasound monitor, I didn’t need anyone to tell me. I knew as soon as I saw him. My baby was dead. We sat in a small, separate waiting room with dim lighting and multiple Kleenex boxes waiting for the doctor. Four weeks ago our baby was wiggling all over that monitor, waving to us, measuring just right, looking good. And now he was dead. Why would God do this to us again? Seven months ago, we had lost our first baby at 18 weeks. I thought it was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through. By the time I started miscarrying, he was already absorbing into my…
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Trust and Panic Attacks
I was an illogically worried child. If it was five minutes past 8pm, then I would keep myself awake being worried about not getting enough sleep. I could never sleep at other people’s houses, which then would make me worried about being exhausted the next day. I couldn’t have clocks that I could see in my bedroom because then I would worry if it got too late. I specifically remember lying in bed at night as a child, thinking about my three greatest fears: my house burning down, a tornado coming (unlikely since I lived in Michigan), and throwing up. This was a nightly occurrence for years. I had an…
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I Will Not Fear
Apparently ISIS has trained soldiers in my state ready to follow orders, ready to commit more acts of terror like what happened in Paris. This should make me nervous, right? Social Media is full of scared people worried about terrorists. Our country is full of scared people, such as the people who are now refusing to allow refuges into their states. I’m not afraid. In fact, I say bring it! Why? Because I’m amazing? No! Absolutely not! It’s because I believe that my God is big enough to handle it all! But, I might die! So what? Death means life with Jesus! But if I’m dead, who will take care…
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The Duggars, Bill Gothard, and Me
TLC’s favorite super-sized, conservative, homeschooling family, lately receiving less than positive attention. The founder of the Institute in Basic Life Principles, who stepped down in 2014 amid allegations of sexual harassment stemming back into the 1970s. And me, a pastor’s wife, mother of two, and blogger just trying to live a “normal” life. What could we possibly have in common? Actually, more than I want to admit. This is me hiking (yes, hiking!) in 2001. Look familiar at all? The Duggar girls are actually more stylish than we ever were. 😛 And here I am, also in 2001, wearing my navy and white (a requirement) while working at one of…
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No Condemnation!
I remember the exact moment when I realized that Jesus not only loved me, but He also liked me unconditionally. Somehow in my mind I had confused the two. Love seemed like something He had to do because He was God, but I was pretty sure He only liked me when I was performing correctly. It makes sense, sort of… Parents and teachers like us better when we follow the rules, and we feel their dislike when we are making poor choices. It’s hard to imagine God being different. We put God in such a tiny box, a box made out of our own human reasoning and logic. Silly us!…
