Looking for the Real God
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Shiny Happy People and the Church
This was originally published in my Substack Newsletter – Rethinking Faith I finished Shiny Happy People last week with my husband. It was a glimpse into my life for him and a difficult reminder for me. Some of the episodes were harder to watch than others. Unexpected emotions, pieces of memories, and a looming sense of dread welled up in ways I didn’t expect. I had to stop and explain, process, and breathe. (Episode 160 of my podcast was my response) As hard as it was to watch, it was also validating. I’ve been saying to people for years that I think Gothard has had more influence on Evangelical Christianity than we…
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Perspectives, Jinger Duggar Vuolo, and Faith Deconstruction
The Duggar Family and Me I always know when something has come out about the Duggar family because suddenly some of my old blog posts and podcasts start being found again. Sure enough, Jinger Duggar Vuolo has written a book titled, “Becoming Free Indeed” telling her story of walking away from the legalism she experienced while being raised in a family who followed Bill Gothard’s cultic teachings. Jinger and I were part of the same cult; I’m just a good ten plus years older than her. She was starting to show up as a child in TV specials about the time I was exiting the culture and mindset. I’ll be…
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Prayers for 2023
Desires and Hopes for the Coming Year As I enter 2023, I hold these prayers with outstretched hands: May we be people who tell truth—even when it’s hard—from a heart of love and compassion. May we stop hiding sin because we are afraid of ruining God’s reputation. May we become people who humbly admit when we are wrong. May we listen with openness to the opinions of others even if we disagree. May we learn to see one another as precious and valuable regardless of our differences. May our disillusionment with religion drive us to find the Real Jesus who was also unimpressed with outward behavior. May we take the…
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When Someone You Love Deconstructs Their Faith
This post is outside of my normal audience. Typically I’m writing to people who are deconstructing, rethinking faith, or trying to reconstruct their faith after religious trauma and spiritual abuse. Today I am writing to the people who love them and are concerned for them. Hello there! Because those of you who will hopefully find this post are probably unfamiliar with me and my story, let me give a quick background. I spent the 90s in a Christian cult with my family. It was a conscious decision my parents made because they truly thought they were doing the best thing. Although they were always a bit skeptical and tried to…
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Is This Really What We Sound Like?
I listened to another Christian talk the other day. They were defining what it means to “really be a Christian.” I know they meant well, but as I listened I just felt discouraged. People who were not following the rules didn’t make the cut: they lived with their significant others before marriage, didn’t attend the right churches, or didn’t have enough fruit in their lives. I found myself wondering if this person knew that I often enjoy a good beer or a glass of wine. Did the fact that they were bolding confiding in me mean they thought I was good enough? Or were they trying to send me a…
