Things We Don't Talk About
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When Someone You Love Deconstructs Their Faith
This post is outside of my normal audience. Typically I’m writing to people who are deconstructing, rethinking faith, or trying to reconstruct their faith after religious trauma and spiritual abuse. Today I am writing to the people who love them and are concerned for them. Hello there! Because those of you who will hopefully find this post are probably unfamiliar with me and my story, let me give a quick background. I spent the 90s in a Christian cult with my family. It was a conscious decision my parents made because they truly thought they were doing the best thing. Although they were always a bit skeptical and tried to…
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Is This Really What We Sound Like?
I listened to another Christian talk the other day. They were defining what it means to “really be a Christian.” I know they meant well, but as I listened I just felt discouraged. People who were not following the rules didn’t make the cut: they lived with their significant others before marriage, didn’t attend the right churches, or didn’t have enough fruit in their lives. I found myself wondering if this person knew that I often enjoy a good beer or a glass of wine. Did the fact that they were bolding confiding in me mean they thought I was good enough? Or were they trying to send me a…
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How Did We Get Here?
What has happened to the Church? To our Christian culture? How did we get to this place of brokenness? Where it’s no longer a shock when well-known believers publicly leave the faith? Where pastors and leaders are regularly exposed for sexual assault and harassment? Where spiritual abuse and church hurt are familiar words? The state of our American Church breaks my heart. This article has been simmering for two months now. Really ever since I heard the truth come out about Ravi Zacharias. If you want more thoughts and info than I write here, I’ve been digging into each issue that I mention on my podcast, Looking for the Real…
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Reconstructing in the Middle Way
Why do I focus so much on deconstructing and then reconstructing our faith within historical orthodoxy? Why don’t I fit into a side? Why do I choose to muddle through life in this messy and awkward middle way? I’ve wondered these things a lot lately. My more progressive friends are always encouraging me to join them and I’ve definitely faced condemnation from religious conservatives. I don’t seem to fit anywhere and I know that many of you feel that too. I’ve been reading a book that is opening my mind to a bunch of junk that’s been going on within evangelical Christianity for years (you will hear about it eventually…
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The Flawed Theology of Christian Nationalism
Families traveled to the nondescript hall each week from across Michigan and even Ontario. Some drove up to two and a half hours one way — my family drove an hour and twenty minutes — to gather on Sunday with like-minded believers. The hall was split into two areas: one lined with tables where families set up their lunch spot, and the other with rows of old metal folding chairs gathered in a semi circle around an electric piano and a black, collapsible podium. In the back of the room near the kitchen, they set up PVC pipes with curtains as a space for the nursing mothers and babies. There…
