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The Value of Losing Our Faith
I’m not sure what I believe these days. I think I’m losing faith. I don’t even like going to church. I don’t know how to be a Christian any more. Scarily honest statements. Beautifully raw. Terrifying to admit even to ourselves. If you said them to the wrong person, they might have freaked out. And you may have gotten an earful of Christianese — those secret phrases and well known statements that only make sense to other Church People. There may have been panic on their faces. They might have interrupted you with Bible verses and prayer chains. I’m sorry! Perhaps you have kept your doubts and questions to yourself…
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Peace that Doesn’t Make Sense
Peace that doesn’t make any sense. This is the kind of thing that proves God’s existence to me. There I am in a situation where I feel powerless, emotional, empty, stressed, worried, etc. But as I chose to give it to God, He supernaturally gives me “peace that surpasses understanding”… It was my second miscarriage. It was also Valentines Day and I had to spend it in the hospital delivering my tiny, dead son. We had no living children at this point and had just experienced two late-term miscarriages all while being newly married and living eighteen hours from family. The nurse came in to ask me what I wanted…
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When Life Falls Apart
“Is any of this real? Does God really exist? If He does, is He really good? Does He really love me?” I sat at my desk, mind reeling, stomach in knots, staring at my phone, the recent call playing in my head. Have you been here? I have, more than once. The place of heartbreak, disbelief, doubt, questions… It’s not fun. It hurts. It’s hard! I was a couple of years out of the cult, had been on my own for about six months, was going to college, and working as a live-in nanny for a challenging family. It had been a hard six months. I did not love my…
