There’s Rebellion in My Heart…

I’m pretty good at being a rebel.

Not the kind where you rebel against anything and everything for no reason. The kind where you think something is stupid and refuse to do it. This is where I get tripped up with the whole writing/speaking thing every time. Every. Time.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I started the journey of writing a book. I didn’t know what the industry was like.

• That it is often more about who you are than the message you are trying to share…
• That if you don’t have a “platform,” i.e. a large following, you don’t stand a chance at getting published…
• That there is a constant pressure to be awesome, and perfect, and “Instagram worthy”…
• That you are supposed to “build your brand”…
• That there are a million other women also trying to be noticed and gain a following (who easily turn from sisters-in-Christ to competitors)…

It’s so ridiculous.

I don’t want to spend all my time trying to find followers who will like me. I don’t want to schedule Facebook or Twitter posts to get attention. I don’t want to fake awesome or try to be perfect. I don’t want a “brand”.

I just want to be normal-ish, maybe slightly weird, broken, and real. I want to talk about Jesus, ask hard questions, and get people to think. I want to take lama selfies, play with my kids, and drink coffee with my friends.

I don’t care if I never get noticed or ever write a book. I want to do this like Jesus.

Jesus would have been an agent’s worst nightmare.

Every time He gathered a following, Jesus said something crazy that made them all leave. He wasn’t into fame and didn’t use Instagram. In fact, we don’t even know what He looked like. Jesus never wrote a book, let alone a blog post. He didn’t hang out with popular people, but instead spent His life serving the poor and needy. He didn’t care about His reputation, just His Father’s will.

And He changed the world.

I might not change the world, but I would like to point it to Jesus. 

I found an old article from Christianity Today talking about women in ministry, specifically women in blogging/writing/speaking ministry. Along with the article, there was a link to an old Twitter conversation. Apparently I’m not the only rebel out there.

If I have seemed quieter or continue to be quiet, just know that I am trying to figure all of this out. How to follow Jesus, and speak the truth He’s put on my heart, and be a rebel at the same time. 😉