• God Ponderings,  My Story

    Words for the Year

    Last year I posted this on my writer Facebook page: “I’m gonna be honest…I was feeling kind of snarky about all these “words for the year” on social media right now. Kind of cynical and cranky. Like seriously, people do not need to get a word from God for the year. How do we know it’s really from God? How do we know we aren’t just pulling something out of our own mind? Stop pressuring people with strange, Christianese junk! It reminded me of the emotionally charged relationship I had with Jesus back in the day…back in my crazy fundamental days. Then, I was sitting with my hot coffee and journal…

  • God Ponderings

    Finding Hope this Christmas

      The lights seemed to twinkle. I sat in the quiet morning the only one awake, staring at my Christmas tree. My Bible was in my lap and a cup of coffee in my hand. I should have been feeling peace and contentment, been delighting in this special season, right? Yeah, not so much. Instead, I was very aware of the wrongness in the world, and I felt depressed, dissatisfied, and hopeless. “Why, God? Why don’t you stop it? Why don’t you fix it? The world is so screwed up! When are you going to do something?” “Two thousand years ago” It always surprises me when the Holy Spirit actually…

  • And Then I Met Jesus,  Exposing Legalism,  God Ponderings,  Uncategorized

    The God We Long For…and the Real Jesus

    A couple of days ago I threw a few scattered thoughts out on Facebook. “What if God cares more about your heart than your outward actions? What if He wants to heal your deepest wounds and messes more than He wants your behaviors to change? What if He wants you to understand yourself…your deep needs and longings and the things that trigger you? What if He cares about ALL of you, the visible and invisible parts? What if, instead of expecting you to get your act cleaned up, Jesus wants to sit with you in your mess? Sift through it? Sort it out? What if He is totally okay with…

  • An Impostor Jesus,  And Then I Met Jesus,  God Ponderings

    Finding Answers at Book Club?

    Why are so many of us, former Church People, so cynical and cranky? Even those of us, like me, who haven’t actually left the church? What’s wrong with us? I’ve wondered about that (and what to do about it) for a while now. Thanks to Mike Cosper, I finally have an answer. Who would’ve thought it would happen at Book Club? Who would’ve thought I’d ever end up at Book Club? I guess that’s what happens when you make new friends and ask the Holy Spirit what to do next. I am NOT a literary. I’m not really even a writer, at least not personality wise. That fact is made…

  • God Ponderings

    Fireflies, Chili, and Hope

    “You are the light of the world…No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket…” Matthew 5:14-15. How strange would it be…if you sat on your porch one summer evening and watched as one firefly after another flew into an open container. Instead of floating free, blinking their lights in the summer dusk, the fireflies huddled together. Willing captives in a jar. And yet, I think many Christians do the same thing. Somehow, protection and safety have become more important than being the light of the world. They huddle together around common ideology and values. Protecting good things like marriage, family, the sanctity of life, and moral…